I just hit the “publish” button on Insight Timer for a custom songwriting project that has touched me so deeply I don’t completely know how to talk about it.
Sometimes a song has a way of coming through even when I’m not sure how I’m going to do it.
This process feels so alive to me, and it feels like it’s part of what I’m on Earth to be doing.
Michele and Jen, sisters and beloved members of our Insight Timer community, approached me a few months ago asking if I would write a custom song for their friend’s daughter Casey. They wanted the song to be uplifting and positive. That’s cool! I like doing uplifting and positive songs.
The challenge: Casey, a 30 year old artist, was in hospice.
I cried when I read their email request. I wondered if I had the depth and presence needed for such an important project. But my heart was saying YES. I felt a sense that God had my back. So we moved ahead. I hoped I could get it done in time for Casey to be able to hear it.
We met right away. They were so dear, and in a way I felt like I was talking to old friends. There was a lot of grief, but also, paradoxically, an open hearted sense of wonder at all of the love and little miracles that were a part of Casey’s journey. I won’t share details, it’s not my story to share, but suffice it to say that I felt blown away by all of the love and courage and heart that these folks were choosing to stay open to, even in the face of this immense personal tragedy.
In our first conversation, I started hearing the melody and lyrics in my head as we discussed what should go into the song. Through the next days, the song accompanied me everywhere. It was as though I could almost feel the heart of their family coming through and giving me encouragement, inspiration and feedback as I worked on developing, and then refining it.
It’s a funny thing when I’m working on making art connected with a situation that is this deeply moving. I can have a really clear sense of sureness about how to move ahead, and then second guess myself — “How can I be so sure of myself? How can I really know what it feels like I know? Here these folks are having their hearts broken, and I think I can make art out of that??” I worried that it wouldn’t hit the mark. But it had such a life of its own, so I decided to move with it.
To double check, I shared the draft with my husband Michael. He was silent for a bit and then I realized he had tears in his eyes. I can’t remember his words, but it was something like “this is a healing song”. So I took the next step and shared it with Michele and Jen.
They were blown away.
“Oh my gawd weeping…….Trina it’s stunning.
Beyond grateful for your gifts dear one.”
They felt that it was just right except for a couple of minor details.
We finished it up and sent it to Casey and her family just before Thanksgiving.
I didn’t hear from them for almost a week from delivery. I had a few nail-biting moments, worrying, suddenly second-guessing myself. Thinking of all the things that could have hit them wonky, and at such a vulnerable time for the family.
Finally I sent a little email to check in.
And I got the response:
Jen wrote, “Yesterday before work I heard from Ginny (Casey’s Mom) that Casey requested to listen to the song again when she was more fully lucid and is delighted and amazed, and absolutely loves it. They are so moved, as are we, by your offer of edits, but as Ginny says… It’s perfect. 💖
Ginny was also moved that it will be shared with a wider audience of yours and that it might make meaning for others as well. It’s hard to express what it has meant to us to work with you on this labor of love.”
Michele followed: “they all love it. It’s quite extraordinary really and they all have loved the combination of Casey’s poem and Steve’s texts being incorporated so beautifully into the song.
Trina, this has been a blessed time working with you and your gift of song is priceless. We all believe it will touch so many around the world once you’ve released it on Insight Timer. We call Casey, the gift that keeps on giving as she continues with another day of life with her family.”
I can’t really describe the feeling of being a part of this project.
It is such a privilege and an honor. Thank you Michele and Jen, Casey, Steve and Ginny and your whole beautiful family and circle of loving friends. As I write, I’m sending prayers for Casey as she continues to hang in there, and I invite you to as well. But I know that her creativity and all of the love that she and her family and friends have poured into this journey will continue to be a Blessing.
Thank you for reading and much love.
PS. You can listen to the song, “Whenever You Look For Me” here.
PPS. Do you have something wonderful you’d like to commemorate with a custom song by me? I’d love to hear from you. Schedule a free initial consult here.
